8:24AM...

I woke up this morning as the sun was shining through my window. I rolled over and tried to fall back asleep, but could not seem to shade my face enough to creep comfortably back to my dreams. As the birds chirped, the realization I must be coherent was forced upon me so I rolled over to grab my phone and look at what time is was. 

8:24AM... 
The house was asleep, with kids who stayed up late watching movies and playing video games. I got up and looked in on Stella as she snored loudly and lay peacefully dreaming about whatever babies dream. Stella is a morning girl. She always greets me with smiles and laughter when I pick her up out of her crib each morning. 

8:24AM... 
Memories flooded my mind about experiences past and the road God chose for me to travel 1 year ago today. Peace was hard to find that morning as anxiety, guilt, and fear waged war in my soul to drag me into despair and deep depression. 

A year ago today Nick and I drove faster than I want to admit to get to Children's Mercy to meet Stella who had arrived by Med-flight. Her lungs were not working properly and the last memory I had of my precious child was her erratic breathing as she struggled to draw breath. Her small body was tired and limp, there was no smile that morning on her beautiful face and no laughter in my heart. 

She was intubated and quickly assessed before her departure and my mind could not wrap around this reality. This could not be happening, this could not be happening....

8:24AM... 

We arrived at Children's Mercy around this time trying to make our way to see Stella. We did not know if she was alright and I was in shock and panic, but Nick was strong and composed for us both so I drew strength from him. My body had not recovered, so Nick pushed me in a wheel chair from place to place. The staff was attentive and kind, and took us directly to Stella's bedside. Everything seemed hazy that day; surreal and impossible. This couldn't be happening...

As I watched a machine breath for her slowly, and saw all the tubes and machines working for her, my reality that morning was not peaceful it was uncertain filled with fear and anxiety. I couldn't hold her. I couldn't rock her. I could just stroke her soft skin and wait. I could do nothing else.

8:24AM...

Now, a year later, who would have thought the reality I could not wrap my head around then, would be the catalyst for a future of daily celebration even when life seems hazy and impossible. 

As I drove to the ICN that morning, God was with me. I might not of felt the presence of a third party or recognized His arms carrying me at first, but as I cried and came to grips with reality of my situation, I had no other arms to run to. No one else could handle the massive weight of my situation. This was too big for me to handle without Him. 

Through this journey I trained myself to look for the good in all circumstances and silence the world's cries to despair was I tuned my ears only to the promises of God. 

I will be with you...
I will work out everything for the good of those who love and trust me...
If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains....
Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest...
Look at the Lilies of the field. They do not labor or spin, yet I tell you Solomon in all his splendor was not as beautiful as these. If God takes care of the Lilies which are here today and gone tomorrow, how much more will He take care of you? So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself...

God's promises. God's love. God's strength. As I relied on His qualities and blocked out the noise, I found a life of celebration when I was surrounded by despair. 

I look at sweet Stella a year later with her chubby cheeks and rolls. Making faces, and blowing bubbles with her spit as she laughs and smiles at whoever she meets. Her sweet disposition lights up as room. 

You could not look at her today and guess she had such humble beginnings but God had a purpose for the road we traveled together. A road that was uncertain to me, but not to Him. The lessons I have learned and the deep love and provision I experienced on this road, have molded me and refined me by His grace and goodness. 





Stella reminds me to stop and celebrate. In all circumstances in all situations, stop and celebrate. I am blessed to celebrate with Stella daily. Blessed to have this sweet girl in my life. I cannot help but celebrate no matter what comes my way, because I have personally experienced God's provision during the darkest moments when things were uncertain and not in my control. I don't just know He is good, I have felt His goodness and mercy when I needed it most. 

I know our world is mutated because of sin, but this side of heaven I do not understand why some things happen to some and not others. I don't understand why some prayers are answered how we want them to be, and while some seemingly go unanswered. I do not understand why some are born into love and stability and others are born into fear and abuse. I do not know why some are provided with food while others around the world go hungry. The world is full of injustices crying out for God to make wrongs right. I do not understand dear friends but what I understand I share with you a year later. 

In all circumstances and situations celebrate. No matter what trial life throws your way, stop and celebrate. It is when we celebrate even the smallest things that God brings us perspective and peace. It is when we allow God to show us what we have to be thankful for, that we experience true joy which is not attached to our current situation. Celebration is a defensive tool our hearts use to block fear and despair. Celebrate the sun shining in your window or the breath you just took so easily without even thinking. Breathing is something I celebrate often because it did not come so easily for Stella in the beginning. Celebrate the piles of laundry, stacks of dishes, and explosion of toys for they were made by little hands and feet that are precious to God. Celebrate what He provides to give your heart perspective on how truly blessed you are. Celebrate... celebrate.

8:24AM... 
Every action has a reaction. We can react with joy and celebration to ward off our fears and allow God's perspective and strength into our lives; or we can react with fear, anxiety, and hopelessness which pulls us down into darkness and blocks all things good from our sight. 

I don't know what road you travel or what uncertainty lie ahead. I don't know what hurt runs deep within you or what failures lie behind you. I'm not sure about the who, what, when, where, whys and hows of your life but I do know God does and He's loved you through all of it. He loved you then and He loves you now. He can and will give you what you need to handle what you are going through. He is and will always be gracious and good. 

8:24AM... 
I started a journey of consciously seeking celebration in my life. Celebrating in all circumstances and allowing God to charge my desperation into celebration. 

Happy Birthday my sweet Stella. 

Your life inspires me to smile easier and laugh more often. I'm blessed to be your mom and you taught me to take time each day and celebrate. 

May God continue to mold and shape our family as we seek His ways and remember His promises. 

I will be with you...

My mercies are new each morning...

I am the Beginning and the End...

I will wipe every tear from your eyes...

I am coming again...

My grace is made perfect in your weakness...


I made a choice to choose joy and celebrate.

What will your choice be?

Shh... These Are My Personal Thoughts About Someone.

I realize what's important. Do you ever have those moments friends? When you look at what God is doing and think "Yeah, I get it."

My husband had the privileged of baptizing a dear friend. Minutes after he was baptized, he baptized his son. We have been praying for him and his family and praying that God will continue to work through them. Praying for his precious wife and their day to day interactions with others. 

You see this family understands the transforming power of Jesus and does not keep it to themselves. They actively serve in the church but also have people into their home for meals or host Bible studies. They tell those who have never met Christ about Him and the depth of His love for them. They meet needs, fix meals, love the forgotten, and live for Jesus in the day to day. They have created a lifestyle of worship and God is blessing them with opportunities to lead, minister, and serve. 

I realize what's important friends. Seizing each opportunity God gives you to glorify Him. Intentionally looking now at your relationships and daily living to meet the needs of others and show others the joy that comes from living like Jesus.

What does living like Christ look like for you today? Maybe it's an encouraging text or a ride to the store. A surprise Sonic drink delivered with love or maybe it's a long overdue conversation. Whatever being intentional looks like for you today, I'm praying He will show you.

My friendship with this sweet family is a reminder of why God calls us to share community with others. To me, they are a reminder of why the church is so important and why God calls us to meet with each other often and celebrate and worship together. You see my friends we need Godly relationships to challenge us, serve along side us, and celebrate with us as we try daily to live as Christ has called us to live. If you are not active in your local church, you are missing out on what God has created for you here on earth until His return.

A good friend said it best, "Our relationship with Jesus is personal but not private." I realize what's important friends. Seize the opportunities in the day to day and build relationships with those around you. Celebrate what God is doing, love those around you, meet needs, and celebrate more! 

Live radically, love relentlessly, build relationally, share generously, worship truthfully.

Life is short let's start living it. Be intentional in your day to day and start living a life that celebrates!

This Girl's Perspective on Her Birthday

Maybe you can relate friends but once you have kids and life is in full swing of chaos and craziness, birthdays feel like just another day. To be honest, I forgot mine until a few days before when a friend reminded me. My husband is leading worship at church camp this week and the few days before my birthday seemed to be plagued with problems. From forgetting to take the trash out, to broken appliances and running over a mountain lion (it's true I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried) I just haven't been in the mood to celebrate. 

I drive out to church camp every night to see my husband and help with music. My kids have baseball and there are a dozen other things begging for my attention so I haven't been able to get there very early to practice. My husband picked a familiar worship set for me last night. He knows I'm emotionally not ready to think about lyrics and focus on how to sing the songs, so he allowed me to get lost when I help lead worship and wrapped up in the words I'm singing and the God I'm worshiping by picking songs we sing often. I was very grateful for this. 

As I was singing and meditating on the character and great love of Jesus last night, I became overwhelmed by His goodness to me. Everything was breaking at my house, but He generously provides and supplies what we need to fix what is broken in our lives. Nothing seemed to be going right for me this week, but He makes right what is wrong by His grace and goodness. In the midst of the chaos and craziness, I couldn't help but sing recklessly and cry out to Him in worship...

"You are holy, great and mighty! The moon and the stars declare who You are. I'm so unworthy but still You love me, forever my heart will sing of how great You are!" 

I just kept singing and worshiping because what else could I do? I couldn't handle this on my own, but when I called on the strength given to God's children, I could see more clearly who could handle the chaos... Christ! This acceptance caused me to sing even louder...

"The mountains shake before You. The demons run and flee. At the mention of Your name King of Majesty. There is not power in Hell or any who can stand, before the power and presence of the Great I Am!"

When I acknowledged who makes wrongs right, what was wrong started to not be as important as who is seated on the right hand of God. The feelings of hopelessness, worry, and fear began to be washed away and replaced with anticipation, excitement, and joy for a day that is coming when the things I don't understand become fully clear in His presence. When He will hold me and tell me, "Well done, my good and faithful servant" and I will dwell in His presence in utter perfection for all eternity. The things of this world seem so small when you think about what He promised that is coming.

I woke up this morning on my birthday with the best present I could have gotten. Renewal. Renewal of a soul who so desperately longed to worship her Saviour but in the midst of distractions forgot how. Renewal of a heart that was washed of its sin and frustration by a kinsman Redeemer. Renewal of a mind fixated on problems and bitterness that now meditates on His grace and goodness. 

Friends I have been unfocused for so many weeks that I didn't know if I would ever find celebration in the cloudy dreary seasons of life again but... I found it!

I know it had been there all along but the fog of my sin and the distractions of the enemy hid it from me but... I found it!

When I threw down what I had been carrying. All the worry, bitterness, and the unknowns of life, I threw them down in pure frustration and exhaustion at His feet and threw myself into a time of worship where I didn't think about the things of this world; I just fixated on where my true residence lies. Friends I found renewal. I found perspective, I found joy and mostly by His grace and goodness... I found peace. The birthday I forgot and then dreaded all week, became a birthday to remember thanks to the present I so longed for that I willingly received. 

Can you relate friends? Has Satan hidden from you the wonderful gift of renewal and robbed you of the strength that comes from being His child? The gift is still there. His renewing power is limitless and timeless. Free refills for all who are weary, He will provide you with rest. But rest is a verb which requires action. Don't let burdened or resistant be the action you choose. Choose to recklessly throw your burdens and resistance at His feet and surrender your pride and purpose to Him the giver and creator of all things good. Rest, celebrate, love, nourish, strengthen, and renew. Allow Christ to liberate your verbs when you trust in Him and truly find peace.

Thank you God for giving me a happy birthday. Filled with love and renewal. I am so blessed with your provision and the wonderful people and relationships you have put in my life. My mind knows I should celebrate even when my heart doesn't feel it but I'm so thankful for the renewing power of Your Spirit that resets my system and makes my heart sing again. Your grace is new every morning and Your love is never ending. May I fixate on the things I can't see so I can celebrate every moment of every day no matter what life throws my way. I want to choose verbs that draw me closer to you. Renew my Spirit Father, and continue to give this girl perspective on her birthday so she can take time everyday to choose joy and celebrate.