I drive out to church camp every night to see my husband and help with music. My kids have baseball and there are a dozen other things begging for my attention so I haven't been able to get there very early to practice. My husband picked a familiar worship set for me last night. He knows I'm emotionally not ready to think about lyrics and focus on how to sing the songs, so he allowed me to get lost when I help lead worship and wrapped up in the words I'm singing and the God I'm worshiping by picking songs we sing often. I was very grateful for this.
As I was singing and meditating on the character and great love of Jesus last night, I became overwhelmed by His goodness to me. Everything was breaking at my house, but He generously provides and supplies what we need to fix what is broken in our lives. Nothing seemed to be going right for me this week, but He makes right what is wrong by His grace and goodness. In the midst of the chaos and craziness, I couldn't help but sing recklessly and cry out to Him in worship...
"You are holy, great and mighty! The moon and the stars declare who You are. I'm so unworthy but still You love me, forever my heart will sing of how great You are!"
I just kept singing and worshiping because what else could I do? I couldn't handle this on my own, but when I called on the strength given to God's children, I could see more clearly who could handle the chaos... Christ! This acceptance caused me to sing even louder...
"The mountains shake before You. The demons run and flee. At the mention of Your name King of Majesty. There is not power in Hell or any who can stand, before the power and presence of the Great I Am!"
When I acknowledged who makes wrongs right, what was wrong started to not be as important as who is seated on the right hand of God. The feelings of hopelessness, worry, and fear began to be washed away and replaced with anticipation, excitement, and joy for a day that is coming when the things I don't understand become fully clear in His presence. When He will hold me and tell me, "Well done, my good and faithful servant" and I will dwell in His presence in utter perfection for all eternity. The things of this world seem so small when you think about what He promised that is coming.
I woke up this morning on my birthday with the best present I could have gotten. Renewal. Renewal of a soul who so desperately longed to worship her Saviour but in the midst of distractions forgot how. Renewal of a heart that was washed of its sin and frustration by a kinsman Redeemer. Renewal of a mind fixated on problems and bitterness that now meditates on His grace and goodness.
Friends I have been unfocused for so many weeks that I didn't know if I would ever find celebration in the cloudy dreary seasons of life again but... I found it!
I know it had been there all along but the fog of my sin and the distractions of the enemy hid it from me but... I found it!
When I threw down what I had been carrying. All the worry, bitterness, and the unknowns of life, I threw them down in pure frustration and exhaustion at His feet and threw myself into a time of worship where I didn't think about the things of this world; I just fixated on where my true residence lies. Friends I found renewal. I found perspective, I found joy and mostly by His grace and goodness... I found peace. The birthday I forgot and then dreaded all week, became a birthday to remember thanks to the present I so longed for that I willingly received.
Can you relate friends? Has Satan hidden from you the wonderful gift of renewal and robbed you of the strength that comes from being His child? The gift is still there. His renewing power is limitless and timeless. Free refills for all who are weary, He will provide you with rest. But rest is a verb which requires action. Don't let burdened or resistant be the action you choose. Choose to recklessly throw your burdens and resistance at His feet and surrender your pride and purpose to Him the giver and creator of all things good. Rest, celebrate, love, nourish, strengthen, and renew. Allow Christ to liberate your verbs when you trust in Him and truly find peace.
Thank you God for giving me a happy birthday. Filled with love and renewal. I am so blessed with your provision and the wonderful people and relationships you have put in my life. My mind knows I should celebrate even when my heart doesn't feel it but I'm so thankful for the renewing power of Your Spirit that resets my system and makes my heart sing again. Your grace is new every morning and Your love is never ending. May I fixate on the things I can't see so I can celebrate every moment of every day no matter what life throws my way. I want to choose verbs that draw me closer to you. Renew my Spirit Father, and continue to give this girl perspective on her birthday so she can take time everyday to choose joy and celebrate.
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