I was still in awe of God's goodness and the crazy adventure we journeyed together this weekend as I drove to work. I was contemplating what I was going to write about and meditating on Jesus and how I long to serve Him and make Him proud of me. I want to be a mom who goes the extra mile and guides her children in His ways. I want to be the wife who supports and encourages her husband so that He can be successful and feel loved and valued. I want to be a teacher who creates an environment where students can be successful, meet their goals, and gain a self confidence and sense of pride that will last a lifetime. I want to be a woman of God who encompasses the Proverbs 31 traits to motivate and encourage women to be more like Him.
I want Jesus to be proud of me and see I was worth dying for. As I drive and think about His love, a simple truth hits me hard and its impact resonated deep inside my soul. He already is proud of me and He loves me with as much love as He can muster right now. He loves me as much as He can and nothing I do or don't do will take away or change how much He loves me.
Sometimes I think we slip into punch card Christianity. If I love more, surrender more, and do more then Christ will punch my card for each good deed I perform. When my card is full I can turn it into Him for more love, more esteem, more gratitude. But this kind of love is focused on us and what we can achieve instead of focused on Him and what He did achieve. That's the beauty of the cross! That's the beauty of His sacrifice. He took our punch cards, nailed them to the cross and gave us the gift of FREE forever! Free love, free peace, free hope, and free life no holding back giving us everything He has and ever will have. Price paid in full by His blood for those who call upon His name and accept His gift and sacrifice. Praise the Lord, it's all FREE and not dependent on how many rules I keep or good deeds I perform.
This sort of completely unfair and sacrificial love draws me in and I want to love Him back and worship Him. I want to make Him happy and please Him not because I'm forced to, but because I get to. His love freely given and the cross a product of that love compels me to find ways to love Him back. It's similar to when my husband secretly cleans the entire house because he loves me. When I walk in, I see the product of his hard work and how he wants nothing more than for me to relax and not be burdened by laundry. I can't help but hug him and try to find ways to show him how much I love and appreciate him too.
This provisional love and desire to put what I need first is so intense and inviting that my priorities shift and I focus less on me and more on Him. As I rock sweet Stella tonight I am swallowed by His love and with the intensity He displays it. I celebrate how freely His love is given and how intentional His plan to rescue the world was. I celebrate that He tore up my punch card and replaced it with covenant promise He would return for me someday.
His love is exhilarating and I can't wait to see where He leads as I follow Him down the windy roads and harvest fields of life. Being a creature of habit it can be uncomfortable to not understand what the future holds but one thing is certain. A life lived by a punch card holds no meaning and value for I can never be good enough or do enough to punch my way to heaven. As I grab hold of my Diet Coke, I will lean hard on His promises to meet the challenges I face each day. God is good and He is worthy of our praise. Not because we have to praise Him but because we choose to celebrate Him and that dear friends is the glory of the gospel.
God—you’re my God! I can’t get enough of you!
I’ve worked up such hunger and thirst for God,
traveling across dry and weary deserts.
So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open,
drinking in your strength and glory.
In your generous love I am really living at last!
In your generous love I am really living at last!
~Psalm 63: 1-3
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