Sell Outs and Settlers

I'm going to be honest friends. I get frustrated with the people I love and value because I care so much about them and I see their potential. I see all that God could do through them if they would relinquish control, step up, and get in the game.

Can you relate friends? Do you have people in your life you would invest the whole enchilada in, but they won't invest a side of beans in themselves? For whatever reason, they do not see their potential nor live up to their purpose. They settle for mediocre living and give up before the fight has even begun. They always have an excuse and will defend their decisions and actions because they truly do not believe they are short changing themselves. Honestly I don't think they wake up expecting much to happen because they do not believe God will show up and do something amazing.

I wish I could figure out a way to get them to see they could be so much more and they do not need to settle for average. We are all beautiful in the eyes of Christ and we all have been created for a divine purpose. We all have the right to call upon a strength from heaven to transform our families, communities, and nation. So why do some of us settle? Why do we shrug off the tedious tasks we are called to do and not see the joy in service through humbly making the mundane tasks a priority?

There is one difference between those who settle and those who strive to be 100% sold out in love with Christ. Settlers focus on what they feel. Sell outs focus on what He commanded. He commanded us to love Him with everything we are, not if we feel like it or if it is fun or fits into our schedule. Love Christ and love others that's the command.

Sell outs see the bigger picture and the small tedious tasks along the way are done out of devotion to a God who sacrificed everything and held nothing back. Sell outs with glad and sincere hearts do what their head says is pointless because the task matters to someone and they see the bigger picture and think about the needs of others when their needs could be so easily be dismissed.

Settlers, on the other hand, live in the moment. Not thinking about how their actions are perceived and because of this, they are constantly misunderstood and never fully known or appreciated. They value people and relationships, but their laissez-faire attitude and last minute approach make people feel like their needs are not important and the task does not matter. Settlers feel unvalued and disconnected from others and they are always on the defense because they have bought satan's lie that they are inadequate so they are fearful and insecure. Settlers can be so much more but choose to not put in the work it takes for great things to happen and hard work to multiply their efforts by His grace and goodness. They do not buy into work hard now but settle for what they have instead of putting in the time to build what God has intended for them later.

We all have our moments of hardship and situations or tasks that we dread doing but it is in these moments and situations we are truly defined and prove to be dependable. Their complacency and average living ripples out to the ones they love and serve. It sets a low standard of what God expects   cultivating lives that are a rushed thrown together offering to the Lord. It's sad and hard to watch the ones you believe in, settle.

If you want to do great things in your life, surround yourself with people who strive for greatness in the Lord. Allow someone to speak truth into your life and model Christ and His desire for mankind.

What ripples out of your life? Do you aspire others to live and love radically by your actions? Are you reliable and dependable able to get the job done no matter how trivial the task? Or do you loll others into a false since of security and accomplishment by "just getting by" or  doing an "ok job". Do you live like you possess the same spirit who caused blind men to see and caused dry bones to live again?

Dear friend you were created for a divine purpose. You have the gift of the Holy Spirit living in you, working for you to bring about God's glory.  The spirit that lives in us is greater than anything in this world and perfectly capable of showing up everyday in our lives to do amazing things if we call upon Him to be our driving force, strength, and support. Sell out to Christ and His purpose for your life. Live life everyday doing all tasks fixated on the One you are truly working for. Allow the Holy Spirit to show up and ripple through the lives of those around you so the offering of your life is fragrant and sweet. Don't settle. Sell out and celebrate because He has equipped each of us for greatness by His strength and for His glory.

Let our lives be fragrant offerings for you Jesus. Do the impossible in our lives and testify to your grace in goodness through our actions and deeds. Awaken those who have settled and energize those who are sold out. In your name I pray. Amen.

Life is hard. Period.

Life is hard. Period. There are times in life when we will want to throw in the towel and choose to live with our pain because forgiveness is just too hard. We've been hurt too bad and the pain runs too deep. We don't see God anymore, we feel abandoned and bottom line; we are too tired and don't want to fight anymore. We feel angry, hurt, defeated, misunderstood, and unappreciated. 

Beloved, I know it's hard to believe but I want you to listen. God is bigger than what you feel. God is able to handle it. His track record is proven and He works best in impossible situations. What you are going through does not make sense and I know you probably just want it to be over but DoN't GiVe Up...

Help is coming. Redemption is coming. Grace is coming and forgiveness is on its way. 

Have you hit your knees in prayer beloved? Truly cried out and given over every piece of the pain, anger, hurt, and abandonment to Jesus? Have you told Him how tired you are and how much you want to hold unto your memories that validate your reasons for bitterness and ask him to take them and exchange them for forgiveness and grace? Beloved, LeT tHeM gO... 

Give the painful memories and the distrust to Jesus. Allow Him to change you from the inside out. Not because the person deserves it, but because Jesus commanded it. LeT aLl ThE pAiN gO...

Experience freedom from all the hurt and animosity you feel. Maybe you've been playing the blame game for so long you don't know where to start. Maybe the pain has become part of your identity and if it disappears, the void left behind is crippling your resolve to imagine what could be. Beloved life can be so much more. Break free from the anger and find peace from your pain because you deserve to be liberated from all the hurt that shackles you and experience true redemption.

MaKe ChRiSt YoUr FoCaL PoInT... He's the only one who matters. No one else can make you feel complete and no other relationship can truly give you what you need. Focus on Christ and what He desires for your life and what He sacrificed so you could be made complete in Him. When we feel the depth and power of His saving grace and mercy, it transforms our relationships and give us the ability to forgive as we were forgiven.

Beloved if you are struggling to forgive and find it difficult to let go of your anger and pain, fixate on Christ and allow Him to cleanse you. Move your focus from what you are feeling to how He feels for mankind. Focus on His desires and not your own as you open your heart and allow yourself to imagine a life you gave up on a long time ago.

Life is hard. Period. But a life that does not exude the transforming power when mercy is granted can be shallow and lonely. The smoke and mirrors we display can leave us empty because we are never truly known or understood. Beloved He knows you and He knows what you need to restore your relationship. Surrender, be known and allow the smoke to clear. Only when we are real and honest can we allow truth to be spoken into our lives.

As I watch sweet Stella, I celebrate a God who completes me in every way. I celebrate the love and forgiveness He gave that I am called to give to others. I celebrate His design to love unconditionally, live selflessly, and celebrate relentlessly. Our God desires us to be free and live in peace not only with others but peace within ourselves. I celebrate the power of prayer and the strength that comes when we willingly give up and surrender.

Just as I long for sweet Stella to listen to me when I speak truth to her, our God longs for us to listen to Him when He whispers to us, "Child. Come. Let it go. My way will fulfill your every desire and I have the strength you need to truly forgive. Come. Make me the focal point of your life, let all the pain go and allow me to replace it with mercy and peace. Think not of what you desire but think of what My desire is for you My child. Trust Me, child. Trust Me and truly be at peace."

Thank you Lord Jesus for picking up the pieces of the broken relationships the enemy has destroyed. Fix and make new again Father those who need Your restoring power. Transform us Father as we give You all the glory and honor for making us whole. Show up when things look impossible and give those in need the miracle they so desperately are praying for. Be our focal point so we don't give up and help us to surrender and truly let go.

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

~Colossians 3: 12-17

I Must Confess: I don't always want to go to church...

I don't always want to go to church. I don't always want to invest in people and I don't always want to drag my kids to a Bible study. It can be difficult getting the whole house in sync and ready to go. Sometimes I don't feel like worshiping or opening God's word after I've dealt with homework, pee pants, and car seat buckles. I'm exhausted. It's not that I don't value these things but they are just one more thing when all I want is nothingness. Yes sometimes, in my humanness, I don't want what the church has to offer.

So why do I invest in the church so much? Why do I choose to not listen to my emotions at times and go even when my house is falling apart and my mind is completely mush? It's because my house is falling apart and my mind is completely mush that I make community a priority... I have no where else to turn. You see friends. Our schedules will always be full and we will always have chaos. I have a full time job, 4 kids, and a full-time ministry. If my house was not chaotic I would worry I left a child at Walmart. That's the faze of life I'm in. I am surviving some days friends, but church and community that's my life jacket. These people pull me back unto the ship and by studying together and praying together I start to gain perspective. When I hear their stories and laugh when their children hit each other with foam noodles, I realize I'm not the only one raising future Wipeout contestants. The church and its people help me peel back the layers of crazy chaos to expose the beautiful blessing of love, family, and parenthood.

This beautiful thing called community which God created to hold us accountable, encourage us in hard times, and push us to be our best is worth investing in. People think Nick and I always want to be at church because we are in ministry. I can honestly say that is not true. There are days we go out of shear commitment. But here's what I've learned. On the days I make myself go, God always shows up and I see why we are commanded to be faithful. You see friends our emotions have feelings but they don't have a brain. Sometimes how we feel can lead us to make detrimental choices. Choices that rob us of the blessing God gives when we are faithful. It is in these times God proves to us why it was important to get out of bed and make an effort to check in that day.

It seems like Satan always knows how to get us down and he knows how to give us a few excuses that are valid reasons for staying home or not signing up. That's the tricky thing about the ultimate deceiver. He doesn't care how he keeps you out of community as long as you choose to not connect. It doesn't matter to him if it's too many kid's activities, a crazy work schedule, or young kids in the home. He doesn't care if our reasons are valid, he just wants our reasons to exist because as long as we have an excuse not to commit, he wins and God's design for our lives is stifled and lessened into what we can handle instead of something much bigger that can only be experienced through Christ.

Unless we get rid of the excuses and peel back the layers of why we really will not commit to Biblical community then we will never grow deeper, love greater, and experience all that Christ has to offer through His church. No matter what walk of life you are in, it was not meant to be lived alone. God designed Biblical community to stretch us, grow us, and sustain us through every faze and down every road. We cannot do this without each other. It's crazy to me how impoverished people understand this. They truly need each other to survive but even in their poverty they are content and blessed through Biblical community. So why is it when we have full bellies and clean clothes we down play and decide this is what is on the chopping block? I can't live without (fill in the blank) so I can't find the time to join a small group. I'd love to but I can't because of _________ so I'm going to have to pass.

Through our absence we rob ourselves of the growth God intended to take place in our lives. We opt out of the blessing that comes from being truly known and we make it very easy to come to church once a week wearing a mask to hide the sins we struggle with. We keep others at arms length and wonder why our relationships are suffering, our kids are not spiritually maturing and our lives feel incomplete and unsatisfying. Without connection, everything suffers. We were not designed to spend an hour a week ingesting God's word but never digesting it through small group discussion.

So my challenge to you my friend is this. I challenge you to be real with yourself and truly ask yourself what's stopping you from investing in a small group and experiencing what God designed for us in Biblical community. How can you evaluate your life and schedule to commit hour or two each week to go deeper in His word with others and building relationships with Christians who experience the same crazy chaos daily that you claim to be your own. Peel back the layers and really look at yourself and see if you can give some time to experience what God designed to sustain us and encourage us this side of heaven.

It's not easy friends and sometimes you will have to just be faithful and go but I promise you God will honor your commitment and through a small group you will experience the beauty of realness and the peace that comes from a group of people who love you through it all and have your back when you are up against a wall. Give it a try and connect in your local church more than just Sunday mornings. Invest in what can make a long term difference in your life, your marriage, and the lives of your children. Prioritize the things of Christ and be faithful so He can bless you in your sacrifice. 

As I wrap up my day, I celebrate the goodness of God. In His goodness, He gave us community so we would have others to share with, laugh with, cry with and carry when the road is too hard. May we all value this gift and all the blessings that come from being real with others. Let's tear off the masks and open our hearts and homes to others just as broken as we are. Let's stop giving reasons why we can't connect and start realizing we can't afford not to. 

Thank you Jesus for your love and provision. Thank you for the gift of friendship and community. Thank you for giving us Your word and the joy of being known by others so we do not have to navigate this crazy world on our own. I celebrate You and Your goodness and I praise You in all circumstances and situations.

You Are A Terrible And Horrible Person

I had a someone recently tell me I'm terrible and horrible. They proceeded to tell me other things that made me feel inadequate, misunderstood, demeaned, and like a failure. I listened and tried to make peace, but inside I felt like I was being destroyed. This person believed they were being helpful and honest. They wanted to help me be aware so I can better relate to those I come in contact with and better myself. They truly believed they were being helpful which, made this conversation even more complicated and confusing.

Terrible and horrible. This conversation haunts me. I keep doubting myself and second guessing my actions trying to figure out what I did or how I could have been better. An array of emotions have flooded my mind and I just can't seem to make sense of it all. There is a voice in my head that keeps whispering, "Everyone feels this way about you. Stop fooling yourself into believing you are good enough. People don't like you, they pity you. You are a terrible and horrible person. Just crawl in a hole and never come out." 

You see friends, I might be outgoing and strike up conversation with a total stranger now, but on the inside I'm an overweight, shy little wall flower that struggles with feeling inadequate and of value to anyone. I have always struggled with being good enough and second guess myself constantly. I wasn't always confident, and by God's grace He has helped me realize where my true worth lies but that vulnerable little girl will always be inside me and Satan is always looking for an opportunity to have her make a debut. 

Terrible and horrible. I keep hearing this conversation on replay in mind.

With ministry, helping international students, my teaching career, and kids activities I interact with people constantly. This critique is hard for me to take because it rocks the foundation of who I am and how I try to live life. If I am perceived by others as terrible and horrible then how is God's love for a mankind being shown through me? How can I claim to be made in His image if the image I portray causes others to feel such strong and negative emotions? 

When I try to figure out what to do next, I hear God whisper, "Trust Me and celebrate. In all circumstances celebrate." So how do I turn the hurt and confusion I feel into a life giving memory? How do I take words that paralyze my abilities and transform them into words that uplift and cultivate a life of worship and celebration? 

As I pray, read scripture, and think about how He molds and refines us, I am confident God is teaching me through this situation the power words have on others. I too have been guilty of saying words that tear down and do not build up. Aren't we all guilty of this? We allow our emotions to cloud our judgement and say things that can destroy relationships, reputations, and cause others to perceive us in ways that are not valid or true. I am ashamed to think of some of the things I have said in my youth, said out of anger, or said out of malice masked by "good intentions". 

I'm starting to look back and process this memory with a heart of grace, understanding, and thanksgiving. Honestly, the words spoke to me hurt and were not life giving, but I am thankful I am not defined by them. The terrible and horrible parts of my life have been forgiven long ago and I'm free to take on a new identity. I make mistakes, but my mistakes are covered by His grace and my true identity is found in Christ. It's His opinion that matters to me and when those in this world call me names to bring me down, He calls me beloved, child, good and faithful.

I know logically the words spoke to me do not portray who I am. As I look at my life and how I interact with others I see a gal who is not perfect, but always strives to love and serve. I see someone who sacrifices and believes in and sees value in others. I am saved by grace and I try to live that way.

So I celebrate tonight as I listen to my sweet Stella breathe that I might be misunderstood by some, but I am fully known by the One who matters. I want to build others up and give grace to those who need a second chance. I want others to feel valued and empowered not discouraged and inadequate so I am thankful God allows us to have opportunities to interact and edify each other. I won't be distracted and too busy to take time to let someone know they matter and I will try to show others the grace and love bestowed to me over 2,000 years ago. 

Your intentions mean nothing if your words don't give life. May we all humbly evaluate ourselves and our actions so Christ can mold and refine us to be better, love unconditionally, and give grace to those we feel don't deserve it. When harsh words come, allow Christ's perception of you to replay in your mind. Allow Him to whisper, "You are loved, you are my daughter, you are forgiven, and sweet girl... you are free." 

Thank you Jesus for breathing life into dry bones and for giving us the ability to breathe life with the words we speak. May the opinions we convey uplift and give life, or may we have the wisdom to give no opinion at all. 

Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ.
~ Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT

Who Do You Turn To?

During the summer, our connect group is not meeting every week. Everyone is so busy in the summer and our group was going to be hit or miss so we all decided a break would be good. What I didn't anticipate was the sense of displacement I would feel because we are not weekly getting together. I miss being with these wonderful people and sharing a meal with them while we listen to all of our kids play as we try to concentrate on the study we are going through. 

There are 7 families in our connect group and a total of 20 kids with 2 on the way. In this group, we invest in one another and laugh together. If one family is struggling, we all feel the burden of their struggle and band together to help any way we can. It wasn't easy to build these relationships, but now that we are invested in one another, we depend on one another for support.

This is the group I go to for prayer. I go to them when I want to get away from life and just be myself because they know me and do not define me by my weaknesses. I never worry this group will judge me but I rely on this group to hold me accountable and to call me out on the table when I'm acting like an idiot. 

Do you have group of people you trust enough to speak truth into your life? A group that can hold you accountable and spur you on in Christ. A group that brings out the best in you and when you are around them their company makes your day brighter, your burdens lighter, and your struggle easier to bare.

Life is meant to be lived in community. When we allow Satan to separate us from the body, we make ourselves and our families susceptible to patterns of complacent living, selfish behavior, and sin. You can be a Christian and not connect with others Christians weekly for accountability, but you will never experience all the benefits of living a life with Jesus. You will never fully understand how to live and love as He did, until you take the time to invest in what is important to Christ, His church. 
 
I want my children to grow up seeing Godly community lived out and practiced. Community that rejoices together and invests in one another. Community that prioritizes spending time with one another because we all understand life is too difficult to live alone. One thing my parents taught me that I practice to this day is the importance of just showing up. When we show up and allow ourselves to be invested in community, God shows up and transforms our priorities and our mindset. Through community and studying God's word together, serving together, and loving each other we start to see our schedules and the way we are living life a little differently. The kid's being involved in everything seems less important and the hours a week we devote to hobbies we find "relaxing" don't seem to refresh us like they used to. We want to be with the community and we feel disconnected when we don't see each other regularly. 

Jesus made it a priority to be with the twelve disciples. Teaching them, laughing with them, and investing in them. Did He invest in the masses of lost people? Absolutely. Did He take time for Himself to pray and be alone? You bet He did. But we see Jesus time and time again sharing a meal with the twelve. Traveling with the twelve. Investing in the twelve. Jesus understood the importance of connecting with a small group of people who got it and tried to live life with purpose. He knew it was important for the twelve so they could fulfill the great commission, but also it was important to Jesus so He had a group of people He could depend on. They weren't perfect, but they loved Him and all were willing to sacrifice everything for Him so others could experience the same love and grace willing given to them. 

If Jesus hadn't invested in community what would our faith look like today? If He was too busy to connect with a small group of guys and build relationships with them, the church would have failed. You can't remove community groups from God's plan and the formula work. Christ followers were designed to live together, worship together, pray together, love each other and unite together. When you are a part of this kind of community, it transforms you from the inside out.

As I think about Stella and all our family has been through the past 18 months. I think of where we were and where God has lead us. I think of all the people who have made a difference in our lives and have encouraged us through the chaos and uncertainties we faced and I cherish them and thank God we didn't have to go it alone. We had strong support and love from family and friends. God takes care of us through the kindness of others. He hugs us, through a hug given in His name. We are brothers and sisters in Christ. Just like my children look out for each other, we look out for another. His design for community brings hope, joy, and true acceptance. It takes time and there are awkward moments, but the end result is a group of imperfect people banning together for a common goal; to love one another as Christ loved us.

Celebrate God's Work In You

You are always changing as you journey with Jesus. Just when you think you have it figured out, He shows you how little you understand and how dependent you are upon Him. As you continue to seek Him and cultivate a relationship with Him, you start to become more like Him. When this transformation happens, God reveals to you what habits and behaviors have to go so your transformation can continue and God can do His work in you.

This is not an easy process my friends when we are open and honest with ourselves and humbly admit the icky parts of our personality. We all have icky parts. Habits and behaviors God calls us to surrender so we can be more like Him. The ickiness that we try to mask so others won't see those parts of our lives we have not fully surrendered to Christ.

God showed me one recently. An icky part in me I needed to deal with. A behavior in my life that I needed to surrender to Jesus so I could be more like Him. I didn't smell the stench myself. I deceived myself and unwilling allowed the ickiness to take root in my behavior and attitude. We all do this in one way or another. As God reveals this to you, how you handle this new found revelation testifies to the love you have for your Savior.

Don't get me wrong friends. We all make mistakes and will continue to make them this side of heaven. That's why His mercy and grace is new for us each day and His love is never ending. But the icky parts are personality traits or behaviors we have allowed to mold and deteriorate who we are and what work God can do through us. They are sins in our lives that go unchecked and untreated and bring ickiness to our relationships when the stench of these behaviors rise.

I'm so thankful God is not done with me yet. I'm so thankful He teaches me everyday how to live and love like Jesus. He takes my hand and lovingly shows me what is stinking so I can surrender those parts of my life to Him for cleansing and peace. God cleanses what is decaying and makes us new again so we don't have to smell the stench and allow these behaviors to cause havoc in our relationships.

Can you relate my friend? Has God ever shown you something about yourself that is not who you are or how you want to be perceived? Celebrate Him my friends. Give those toxic behaviors to Him and trade them for peace, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control.

Thank you Father for not leaving me in my stench but washing me clean so I can be made perfect in your sight. Reveal to me what I habits I must break to be more like Jesus and give me the strength Lord to daily surrender my wants and desires at your feet so I can be kingdom focused and centered on the things that truly matter. I celebrate your goodness and grace for you love me enough to not leave me in my ickiness and for this provision I am truly grateful.

Counting Chickens

What can I say friends. Sometimes life doesn't go how you think it will go. It's very humbling actually. You think you have a plan and have things figured out but then reality strikes and you realize you counted your chickens before they hatched. Nothing too tragic, just not what you expected. 

Can you relate my friends? 

In times like this, I must remind myself who is really in control and that His plan is far better than mine. Even in my disappointment, I can celebrate a Savior who will never disappoint me and the reality of His sovereignty, grace, and goodness give me perspective. Things don't always go the way we plan but when life takes a turn in a direction we didn't expect, our choice to surrender to His will and not try to force ourselves down a path not intended for us, shows who we truly trust and rely on. 

God is good and even when things don't work out how we expect, He provides other opportunities and adventures far more fulfilling and specially designed just for us. Relinquish control. Trust Him when things don't as planned, and celebrate through the uncertainties in life. God provides for us far better than we could ever provide for ourselves and that is a fact. Allow Him to take you someplace you were not expecting. Trust and truly be at peace because He's got this my friends. He can handle it, don't you worry about that. 

Lord, we praise you when life does not make sense and things we thought were not as they appear. We understand you know us better than we know ourselves and like a loving Father, you take care of your children. Thank you for closed doors and when life does not go as we intended because it reminds us of our dependence upon you. Take us where you want us to go. Lead the way. We are ready to follow. 

The Bonus Sugar Rush Memories...

Have you ever had that feeling of panic? That moment when you realize you have lost something that is precious to you? As we drove to Saint Louis this past Sunday panic and loss flooded my mind when I realized I had left something very important to me behind at home. How wilI survive this trip? What if it needs me and I'm not there? How will I be able to enjoy myself without it? These questions plagued my thoughts and sadly I felt as if a piece of me was left behind. My husband refused to turn around, we were too far into our journey and he said it would be ok. I was angry at myself for forgetting it and saddened we would be apart. You would think I forgot a small child, but not no. I forgot my cell phone. 

It's funny how attached I am. Almost held hostage by it. It's the first thing that captures my attention in the morning and the last thing I tuck in at night. We share a lot of memories together and with this device I capture great "candids" of my family and pose them just perfectly for Facebook. I collage and create memories sometimes forgetting to enjoy the moment and memory itself. I take video of my kids playing soccer and watch through the screen of my phone when they score the winning goal. I considerately answer emails and respond to text messages quickly so I sometimes zone in and out of the conversation going on around me. I post witty comments on Facebook, text a buddy in need, and go years without hearing the voice of some I interact with regularly. I read books, articles, the bible, and have all the information I need ready for me in a Google search so I don't really need to go to a library and explore, search, and seek like I did as a child. I use this device for everything and it holds thousands of pictures, videos, conversations, and contacts that are precious to me. 

Truth is, my phone is a part of me and without it I can't capture memories and video of fun things that will happen on our trip. I can't tweet the crazy things Lily says and I can't look at my newsfeed when I'm waiting for dinner at the restaurant. I thought my phone allowed me to experience so many things and archive so many memories but after spending some time apart, I became aware I have a problem. In my desire to share and store memories, I miss the moment right in front of me completely. It was as if the world was fuzzy and I put on a new pair of glasses. I saw the memories and lived th moment partially before as my desire to archive and share cut the moment short and robbed me of the opportunity for what would happen next. 

When I was a kid we would get this orange cone shaped ice cream from the ice cream man and at the bottom of each cone was a gum ball. I was so excited that after I finished my sweet treat, I would get a bonus sugar rush. I think sometimes we are so excited about the sweet memories we are making that we quickly have to capture, edit, and create them so we can tweet, share or Instagram for all to see. We cut the moment short and we miss out on the bonus sugar rush that naturally follows the memory where we would have an opportunity to encourage or a face to face interaction that could make a difference. 

So dear friends I'm going to try hard to not cut the moment short and archive less memories. I might not have as many candid pictures, but I do have parking passes and souvenir cups that take my mind back to the moments I will treasure from our family trip. I am going to make every attempt to be in every conversation fully, every moment entirely, and let every person I interact with face to face know they matter more than my mobile device. 

My phone has held me hostage and I feel like I have missed a lot of opportunities and cut memories short in my life. I'm thankful I left it at home and thankful I have new perspective on how to balance my life. My cell phone is a valuable resource to me, but my addiction to its utilities can rob me of seeing things with my own eyes, fully listening to a conversation, and allowing my children to be the last ones I tuck in at night. 

May we all seek balance and prioritize what's truly important in life as we celebrate each unique moment everyday for its possibilities. May we see the world clearly with our own eyes and not settle for watching our children's accomplishments on the screen of our chosen device. May we love each moment to its fullest and be present for the bonus sugar rush that inevitably follows each sweet memory. 

Thank you Father for all the moments you give and memories you allow me to make. I will value them more than I value my status update. 

Goodbyes

I've never really liked goodbyes. Mostly because I'm not good at them. I guess I don't see the friendship ending because we are apart. We may not talk everyday but I think we can pick up where we left off next time we meet. Goodbye seems so permanent, so final. I'm just not comfortable with that.

God doesn't like goodbyes either. God is relational and He loves us so much that the thought of saying goodbye to us drove Him to sacrifice His son and pay the ultimate price so He would never have to say goodbye to us again. He longs for a loving lasting relationship with us. Even when we do not see Him, He is there in our hearts pouring out new mercy and blessings each day. 

If you stray from Him or loose your way, He longs to pick back up where you left off and build a relationship that is real, one that is lasting. He doesn't care about your past, He only cares about your willingness to embrace His love and surrender to His grace and mercy. 

Dear friends goodbyes are difficult and when friends come and go it can be very hard to understand. It might seem easier to shut the world out and guard your heart so no one gets too close. We fool ourselves into believing we are protected from hurt and loss but in all actuality we are welcoming in loneliness and shallow, superficial relationships. If we don't allow people in and build relationships with those God has blessed us with, we are missing out on the beauty and joy of intimately being known. You see friends we were designed to share life, designed for community. It's part of humanity and if we disengage from others, it's denying our souls the nourishment needed to be healthy.

So step out of your comfort zone. Make a new friend. Take a risk and get to know someone outside your circle. The friendship may change as times passes on or they may move away but that does not mean it's extinguished and the memories and moments you shared can never be taken away.

Goodbyes are difficult. I don't like them and I'm not very good at them, but I take comfort in knowing my Savior will never leave. It's not in His nature to walk out or abandon us. His love is too deep and His character so perfect. He made a promise to never leave or forsake us and He always keeps His promises. 

God will never say "goodbye"... only "welcome home". 

What's on my heart. You are welcome to read.

Do you ever wonder why you are the way your are?
I mean really... Who am I?

There are days when I wake up and live this crazy life God has blessed me with and I'm I don't give it much thought. But then there are days when I wake up and wonder why I'm created the way I am. I wonder what my purpose is and why we're not like other families. 

Am I doing this something wrong? Do I need to change? Should I be more like everyone else? 

Who am I and why does my life look the way it does???

Friends if you are like me and wonder why God created you different than other moms, you are not alone. 

Through God's grace I'm realizing this crazy life God has blessed me with is made to look unique and different to point to Him and to give Him glory. The crazy causes people to ask questions. Questions that lead to conversation and conversation that leads to transformation.

No one cares who you are until they know how much you truly care and until you live life with a crazy love for others, nothing you do will make an eternal difference. 

So who am I???

I'm a mom living life to give God glory in everything I do. I'm a mom who takes every opportunity to love the broken and take care of those in need. I'm the mom who cooks dinner for 30 people and allows the neighborhood to jump on the family trampoline. If you need a ride, happy to help. If you bring a friend with you for dinner, that's fine with me. I don't need a lot of warning and if you come over for dinner, expect 5 or 6 people you have never met to share a table with you. I'm a someone who loves to laugh and share life with people who like to be real. You can count on me to mess up but I know my mess ups do not define who I am. I'm forgiven, loved and valued. I'm not alone and never will be because I'm apart of an eternal family.

So why do I spend my life cooking and assimilating anyone into our family who needs a home? Because God gave me one. He gave me a home when I was a stranger and He loved me when no one else did. He saw value in who I am and so I see value in all He creates. They may never know Christ but they can see Him lived in me and that's about all I can do. It's my job to love no strings attached, so that's how I try to live. I live my crazy life everyday focused on one purpose.... loving others as Christ has loved me. 

Who am I???

I'm me. And as I live my crazy life I'm becoming more confident and ok with that. I don't need to be perfect because perfection is hard to relate to. I just need to be me and those that cross my path understand they always have home. They always have a friend. They always have someone praying for them. And as time passes on, and people come and go, we may not talk often but our lives will forever be intertwined because when you come to my house, you know the door is always open and there is always room at the table for one more. 

8:24AM...

I woke up this morning as the sun was shining through my window. I rolled over and tried to fall back asleep, but could not seem to shade my face enough to creep comfortably back to my dreams. As the birds chirped, the realization I must be coherent was forced upon me so I rolled over to grab my phone and look at what time is was. 

8:24AM... 
The house was asleep, with kids who stayed up late watching movies and playing video games. I got up and looked in on Stella as she snored loudly and lay peacefully dreaming about whatever babies dream. Stella is a morning girl. She always greets me with smiles and laughter when I pick her up out of her crib each morning. 

8:24AM... 
Memories flooded my mind about experiences past and the road God chose for me to travel 1 year ago today. Peace was hard to find that morning as anxiety, guilt, and fear waged war in my soul to drag me into despair and deep depression. 

A year ago today Nick and I drove faster than I want to admit to get to Children's Mercy to meet Stella who had arrived by Med-flight. Her lungs were not working properly and the last memory I had of my precious child was her erratic breathing as she struggled to draw breath. Her small body was tired and limp, there was no smile that morning on her beautiful face and no laughter in my heart. 

She was intubated and quickly assessed before her departure and my mind could not wrap around this reality. This could not be happening, this could not be happening....

8:24AM... 

We arrived at Children's Mercy around this time trying to make our way to see Stella. We did not know if she was alright and I was in shock and panic, but Nick was strong and composed for us both so I drew strength from him. My body had not recovered, so Nick pushed me in a wheel chair from place to place. The staff was attentive and kind, and took us directly to Stella's bedside. Everything seemed hazy that day; surreal and impossible. This couldn't be happening...

As I watched a machine breath for her slowly, and saw all the tubes and machines working for her, my reality that morning was not peaceful it was uncertain filled with fear and anxiety. I couldn't hold her. I couldn't rock her. I could just stroke her soft skin and wait. I could do nothing else.

8:24AM...

Now, a year later, who would have thought the reality I could not wrap my head around then, would be the catalyst for a future of daily celebration even when life seems hazy and impossible. 

As I drove to the ICN that morning, God was with me. I might not of felt the presence of a third party or recognized His arms carrying me at first, but as I cried and came to grips with reality of my situation, I had no other arms to run to. No one else could handle the massive weight of my situation. This was too big for me to handle without Him. 

Through this journey I trained myself to look for the good in all circumstances and silence the world's cries to despair was I tuned my ears only to the promises of God. 

I will be with you...
I will work out everything for the good of those who love and trust me...
If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains....
Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest...
Look at the Lilies of the field. They do not labor or spin, yet I tell you Solomon in all his splendor was not as beautiful as these. If God takes care of the Lilies which are here today and gone tomorrow, how much more will He take care of you? So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself...

God's promises. God's love. God's strength. As I relied on His qualities and blocked out the noise, I found a life of celebration when I was surrounded by despair. 

I look at sweet Stella a year later with her chubby cheeks and rolls. Making faces, and blowing bubbles with her spit as she laughs and smiles at whoever she meets. Her sweet disposition lights up as room. 

You could not look at her today and guess she had such humble beginnings but God had a purpose for the road we traveled together. A road that was uncertain to me, but not to Him. The lessons I have learned and the deep love and provision I experienced on this road, have molded me and refined me by His grace and goodness. 





Stella reminds me to stop and celebrate. In all circumstances in all situations, stop and celebrate. I am blessed to celebrate with Stella daily. Blessed to have this sweet girl in my life. I cannot help but celebrate no matter what comes my way, because I have personally experienced God's provision during the darkest moments when things were uncertain and not in my control. I don't just know He is good, I have felt His goodness and mercy when I needed it most. 

I know our world is mutated because of sin, but this side of heaven I do not understand why some things happen to some and not others. I don't understand why some prayers are answered how we want them to be, and while some seemingly go unanswered. I do not understand why some are born into love and stability and others are born into fear and abuse. I do not know why some are provided with food while others around the world go hungry. The world is full of injustices crying out for God to make wrongs right. I do not understand dear friends but what I understand I share with you a year later. 

In all circumstances and situations celebrate. No matter what trial life throws your way, stop and celebrate. It is when we celebrate even the smallest things that God brings us perspective and peace. It is when we allow God to show us what we have to be thankful for, that we experience true joy which is not attached to our current situation. Celebration is a defensive tool our hearts use to block fear and despair. Celebrate the sun shining in your window or the breath you just took so easily without even thinking. Breathing is something I celebrate often because it did not come so easily for Stella in the beginning. Celebrate the piles of laundry, stacks of dishes, and explosion of toys for they were made by little hands and feet that are precious to God. Celebrate what He provides to give your heart perspective on how truly blessed you are. Celebrate... celebrate.

8:24AM... 
Every action has a reaction. We can react with joy and celebration to ward off our fears and allow God's perspective and strength into our lives; or we can react with fear, anxiety, and hopelessness which pulls us down into darkness and blocks all things good from our sight. 

I don't know what road you travel or what uncertainty lie ahead. I don't know what hurt runs deep within you or what failures lie behind you. I'm not sure about the who, what, when, where, whys and hows of your life but I do know God does and He's loved you through all of it. He loved you then and He loves you now. He can and will give you what you need to handle what you are going through. He is and will always be gracious and good. 

8:24AM... 
I started a journey of consciously seeking celebration in my life. Celebrating in all circumstances and allowing God to charge my desperation into celebration. 

Happy Birthday my sweet Stella. 

Your life inspires me to smile easier and laugh more often. I'm blessed to be your mom and you taught me to take time each day and celebrate. 

May God continue to mold and shape our family as we seek His ways and remember His promises. 

I will be with you...

My mercies are new each morning...

I am the Beginning and the End...

I will wipe every tear from your eyes...

I am coming again...

My grace is made perfect in your weakness...


I made a choice to choose joy and celebrate.

What will your choice be?

Shh... These Are My Personal Thoughts About Someone.

I realize what's important. Do you ever have those moments friends? When you look at what God is doing and think "Yeah, I get it."

My husband had the privileged of baptizing a dear friend. Minutes after he was baptized, he baptized his son. We have been praying for him and his family and praying that God will continue to work through them. Praying for his precious wife and their day to day interactions with others. 

You see this family understands the transforming power of Jesus and does not keep it to themselves. They actively serve in the church but also have people into their home for meals or host Bible studies. They tell those who have never met Christ about Him and the depth of His love for them. They meet needs, fix meals, love the forgotten, and live for Jesus in the day to day. They have created a lifestyle of worship and God is blessing them with opportunities to lead, minister, and serve. 

I realize what's important friends. Seizing each opportunity God gives you to glorify Him. Intentionally looking now at your relationships and daily living to meet the needs of others and show others the joy that comes from living like Jesus.

What does living like Christ look like for you today? Maybe it's an encouraging text or a ride to the store. A surprise Sonic drink delivered with love or maybe it's a long overdue conversation. Whatever being intentional looks like for you today, I'm praying He will show you.

My friendship with this sweet family is a reminder of why God calls us to share community with others. To me, they are a reminder of why the church is so important and why God calls us to meet with each other often and celebrate and worship together. You see my friends we need Godly relationships to challenge us, serve along side us, and celebrate with us as we try daily to live as Christ has called us to live. If you are not active in your local church, you are missing out on what God has created for you here on earth until His return.

A good friend said it best, "Our relationship with Jesus is personal but not private." I realize what's important friends. Seize the opportunities in the day to day and build relationships with those around you. Celebrate what God is doing, love those around you, meet needs, and celebrate more! 

Live radically, love relentlessly, build relationally, share generously, worship truthfully.

Life is short let's start living it. Be intentional in your day to day and start living a life that celebrates!

This Girl's Perspective on Her Birthday

Maybe you can relate friends but once you have kids and life is in full swing of chaos and craziness, birthdays feel like just another day. To be honest, I forgot mine until a few days before when a friend reminded me. My husband is leading worship at church camp this week and the few days before my birthday seemed to be plagued with problems. From forgetting to take the trash out, to broken appliances and running over a mountain lion (it's true I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried) I just haven't been in the mood to celebrate. 

I drive out to church camp every night to see my husband and help with music. My kids have baseball and there are a dozen other things begging for my attention so I haven't been able to get there very early to practice. My husband picked a familiar worship set for me last night. He knows I'm emotionally not ready to think about lyrics and focus on how to sing the songs, so he allowed me to get lost when I help lead worship and wrapped up in the words I'm singing and the God I'm worshiping by picking songs we sing often. I was very grateful for this. 

As I was singing and meditating on the character and great love of Jesus last night, I became overwhelmed by His goodness to me. Everything was breaking at my house, but He generously provides and supplies what we need to fix what is broken in our lives. Nothing seemed to be going right for me this week, but He makes right what is wrong by His grace and goodness. In the midst of the chaos and craziness, I couldn't help but sing recklessly and cry out to Him in worship...

"You are holy, great and mighty! The moon and the stars declare who You are. I'm so unworthy but still You love me, forever my heart will sing of how great You are!" 

I just kept singing and worshiping because what else could I do? I couldn't handle this on my own, but when I called on the strength given to God's children, I could see more clearly who could handle the chaos... Christ! This acceptance caused me to sing even louder...

"The mountains shake before You. The demons run and flee. At the mention of Your name King of Majesty. There is not power in Hell or any who can stand, before the power and presence of the Great I Am!"

When I acknowledged who makes wrongs right, what was wrong started to not be as important as who is seated on the right hand of God. The feelings of hopelessness, worry, and fear began to be washed away and replaced with anticipation, excitement, and joy for a day that is coming when the things I don't understand become fully clear in His presence. When He will hold me and tell me, "Well done, my good and faithful servant" and I will dwell in His presence in utter perfection for all eternity. The things of this world seem so small when you think about what He promised that is coming.

I woke up this morning on my birthday with the best present I could have gotten. Renewal. Renewal of a soul who so desperately longed to worship her Saviour but in the midst of distractions forgot how. Renewal of a heart that was washed of its sin and frustration by a kinsman Redeemer. Renewal of a mind fixated on problems and bitterness that now meditates on His grace and goodness. 

Friends I have been unfocused for so many weeks that I didn't know if I would ever find celebration in the cloudy dreary seasons of life again but... I found it!

I know it had been there all along but the fog of my sin and the distractions of the enemy hid it from me but... I found it!

When I threw down what I had been carrying. All the worry, bitterness, and the unknowns of life, I threw them down in pure frustration and exhaustion at His feet and threw myself into a time of worship where I didn't think about the things of this world; I just fixated on where my true residence lies. Friends I found renewal. I found perspective, I found joy and mostly by His grace and goodness... I found peace. The birthday I forgot and then dreaded all week, became a birthday to remember thanks to the present I so longed for that I willingly received. 

Can you relate friends? Has Satan hidden from you the wonderful gift of renewal and robbed you of the strength that comes from being His child? The gift is still there. His renewing power is limitless and timeless. Free refills for all who are weary, He will provide you with rest. But rest is a verb which requires action. Don't let burdened or resistant be the action you choose. Choose to recklessly throw your burdens and resistance at His feet and surrender your pride and purpose to Him the giver and creator of all things good. Rest, celebrate, love, nourish, strengthen, and renew. Allow Christ to liberate your verbs when you trust in Him and truly find peace.

Thank you God for giving me a happy birthday. Filled with love and renewal. I am so blessed with your provision and the wonderful people and relationships you have put in my life. My mind knows I should celebrate even when my heart doesn't feel it but I'm so thankful for the renewing power of Your Spirit that resets my system and makes my heart sing again. Your grace is new every morning and Your love is never ending. May I fixate on the things I can't see so I can celebrate every moment of every day no matter what life throws my way. I want to choose verbs that draw me closer to you. Renew my Spirit Father, and continue to give this girl perspective on her birthday so she can take time everyday to choose joy and celebrate. 

No Strings Attached

God is known throughout the Bible by many names. The Everlasting God, God Almighty, Yahweh, Lord, Master, Creator, Sustainer are just a few. In His divine nature and ultimate power He could have chosen to have us call Him anything, but God, in His desire for intimacy, chose to let us know Him as Father. We call Him Father and He calls us His children.

What does this mean? God the Father, in His perfection, knew we would not be able to grasp who He is or fully understand His love for us. He knew our humanness we could never comprehend the vast love of a divine Creator so God chose to use human relationships and experiences as an illustration of His divine attributes. Throughout the Bible, God uses this imagery and storytelling as He paints a picture of His deep desire to restore mankind and establish a relationship with them.

To fully understand the significance of this truth, we must understand what a father is meant to be. Some were not portrayed a Biblical earthly example of a father. Either through absence, neglect, or abuse your earthly father’s memory does not evoke feelings of love and devotion. The word “father” brings memories of pain, strife, and abandonment that create a warped and tainted view of this relationship. Friends, let me first say I am deeply sorry for the pain you experienced. It was not God’s intention but a product of a world mutated by sin and infested with its affect. The deep desires you have to be loved, cared for, and accepted by your earthly father can still be met when we run to the arms of our Heavenly Father. 

Let’s examine this imagery of God being our Father. First, He is our Creator. In Genesis 1 the Bible tells the story of creation. Mankind originated from God as an expression of His desire to care for His creation. He made us in His image and gave mankind everything He created to look after and enjoy. He desired mankind to be prosperous and successful and He blessed them. Up unto this point, creation is only looked upon as good. After God creates man, He refers to His creation as VERY good. He created us willingly and lovingly to be a blessing as we care for His creation.  We also receive His blessing of prosperity and provision.

Secondly, God the Father is a provider. God knew before He created mankind provision would be needed. As sin entered the world and division between God and mankind was established, His plan to provide payment for sin was made known. We see God providing for His children as they wait for payment to be made on the cross through the covenant God made with Abraham and the laws He gave to Moses. The justice God the Father required was provided in the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. All history built up to this event where God the Father guaranteed His children eternal provision through Christ. His love was so deep that He literally went to Hell and back so we could call Him, father.

God the Father is not only an eternal provider but an earthly provider as well. The Bible says God provides for the righteous and the unrighteous. He sustains creation and provides a world where mankind can grow and thrive. This provision is not based on mankind’s acknowledgment; rather it is based on God’s desire to make Himself known so all may have an opportunity to come to Him.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

~ Philippians 4:19

Lastly, God the Father loves unconditionally. We see a beautiful image of His love for us in the story of the prodigal son. As the father waits and watches, he sees the son coming in the distance and he runs to greet him. Despite his grime and stench, the father throws his arms around him in a tender embrace and kisses him. He wraps him in a robe and places the family ring on his finger. The son knows exactly what he is going to say as he begs the father for forgiveness, but the father does not listen. He orders his servants to throw a party and the household rejoices in the lost son coming home again.

Never does the Bible record the father wanting to know what the son had done in his rebellion. Never does the father demand the son repay what he has squandered. On the contrary, the father rejoices in finding his son as he is. With an unconditional love and acceptance for who the son is right now and not what the son could be tomorrow the father lavishly pours out his love on his son. That’s the love God the Father has for us. A love that says come as you are, broken and dirty, and I give you rest. It does not matter to God what we have done. God only cares that we came home. Friends, His love doesn’t have any strings attached. His love created us to be who we are and when embrace and accept His love it mends the broken relationship and we close to the Father once more.

You are His child. God the Father created you, provides for you, and loves you unconditionally. I think of my sweet Stella as I rock her and caress her tiny fingers. She cannot repay me for the provision we give. She is vulnerable and if we did not provide her with food and care, she would die because she cannot provide for herself. Stella is utterly dependent upon us for her care and because we unconditionally love her, we take joy in this provision. It is our greatest delight to provide for Stella and do whatever we must to nurture and build our relationship with her. We love her no matter what she does or will do. Her actions are irrelevant because our love will not change no matter if it is desired, deserved, or reciprocated.

God the Father loves us the same way but with a stronger more intense love only given by the Heavenly Father. He is passionate about us with an all-encompassing love that never fails His children. Is that not what we desire? To be loved no strings attached. Just loved because we are His children and nothing we do or have done will ever change that. This love is pure and simplistic but complex and profound at the same time.

You are His child. Even though you are vulnerable and unable to care for yourself, He delights in your provision. He loves you even if His love is not desired, deserved, or reciprocated. His love is never ending and never changing because it is not based on who we are but on who He is. You are His child, embrace it and run to the arms of God the Father.

Lost WIthout Him

I do not function well when Nick is away. It's crazy that even after almost 15 years of marriage I still miss him intensely when he is not there. I feel a void like a school girl left behind when her boyfriend goes to summer camp. I am very dependent on my husband emotionally. He is my best friend and we talk to each other often throughout the day. I depend on him for encouragement and strength when I am having a difficult time making sense of my busy schedule. I love my daily routine and I love staying busy and serving others but when Nick is away, the days feel hectic and lonely.

I can't help but wonder if we the church, His bride, feels the same when we are not spending time with Christ. Do we depend on Him for encouragement and strength? Do we long to have conversations with Him and be close to Him throughout the day? If we didn't spend much time with Christ, would we be able to function or would our days seem hectic and lonely? Do we notice? Would His absence leave a void in our lives?

I do not function well when Nick is away, but I am lost without daily time with Jesus. It is the time I spend talking with Him and studying His word that gives me perspective and reminds me to be joyous in all circumstances. You see friends, life is hard. This world is mutated by sin and death. It seems when one problem is resolved another one pops up and life is a continuous cycle of highs and lows. But when we fix our eyes on Christ and we draw close to Him, life starts to make sense. We are given the strength to refrain from despair when things get tough and given the ability to rejoice in all circumstances. The highs and lows start to level out as we look at the world through the eyes of Christ and grab hold of His strength as He provides for His bride and lovingly gives her strength and encouragement to make sense of it all.

As I rock sweet Stella while Nick is away, I celebrate my husband and the marriage God has given me. I celebrate our dependency upon each other and companionship we share. I celebrate Jesus and the perspective I gain when I am in His word and spending time with Him. I celebrate the love He has for me and the beautiful imagery of the church being His bride, for the church is dependent upon Him for her needs and finds fulfillment in Christ's companionship. I celebrate the truth that comes from knowing with Jesus I can function and meet the challenges this world throws at me. Jesus helps me make sense of it all and I am lost without Him.

We Are A "Unique and Humorous" Family

My life is crazy and far from "normal". This realization has made me uneasy in the past. Sometimes I feel like because our lives are not "normal", I am letting my kids down. The church is our second home and my kids have a dinner or events sponsored by the church multiple nights a week. They sacrifice home time for church time and our lives are far from "normal". I love my life but I feel like my kids are getting drug along for the ride and I wonder if they long to have a normal routine like others kids their age.

We are moving out of our apartment and into a home. The kids are very excited and Nick and I are so ready for more space and a kitchen table we don't have to pull away from the wall when we eat dinner. It's little things like more closet space and counter space that get me through the stress of a move. I can't wait for my kids to have a back yard to play in and to host dinners again with friends and neighbors. Moving is strenuous, and time precious, so Nick is trying to be strategic and move us over the next couple weeks.

Nick was packing up Samantha's room and he found this note.

The phrase that stuck out to me was, "I love this very unique and humorous family". Friends the things in life that make your family unique, give my kids joy, an identity and a purpose. I feel like I am running them ragged and robbing them of normalcy, but I'm starting to realize they love our crazy life as much as I do. Always having something to do and new people to meet is "normal" to them. Taking care of others, and roller skating at the church while mom and dad prepare for worship is "normal" to them. You see friends, my kids recognize the importance of putting Christ first and we try daily to prioritize what Christ puts value in, time with Him and serving others. I get it now. My normal, as crazy as it is, gives my family joy and purpose. I need to stop comparing my family to others and stop longing to be something I am not. When we embrace the beauty that is the crazy mess God is working and doing in us, we find peace, joy, and purpose.

What is the crazy beautiful mess in your life that your kids find their identity in? Whatever it is, I pray we will all cherish how He made our families so we can be secure in our purpose and not long for "normal" but strive for uniqueness as we live fully surrendered lives for Jesus. Let's celebrate daily the humor and love we share with our families. Let's remember memories can be built grocery shopping and getting pizza. Activities done with purpose and center on quality time can mold and shape our children to serve others and have priorities centered on things important to Christ.

I love this note, and will treasure it always. My family is unique, not normal. The old me would try harder to mask our differences, the new me will display them proudly in Christ for they point to my priorities and what I value in life. May we all strive to find our purpose in the things of God and put His desires above our own as we love and serve our families, neighbors, and those around us.

I belong to a unique and humorous family... yeah I have lots of cause to celebrate!

Finding a Voice Through Personal Reflection

Life seems to have me very distracted right now. All the things I want to do, I don't seem to have the time or energy for. Can you relate with me friends? My intentions are good and my schedule jammed packed with good things but I wonder. Can you have too many good things that rob you of the time you should spend with the Creator of all things good?

I haven't written in a couple weeks. Time has been a big reason, but also I just don't feel like I have anything to say. I started getting nervous about that. Ideas were just not coming to me and I didn't have a lot of insight into my present circumstance. As I went through my busy routine and completed tasks that were at hand, I didn't feel like sitting down and reflecting on my day. I just wanted to get the kids bathed, avoid any huge blow ups, and sit in front of the piles of laundry that need folding as I wonder where I should begin.

I didn't feel like I had the energy to reflect and look at what God is doing in my life and the lives of those around me. It's not that I wasn't appreciative or I didn't know He was there, I just didn't have time to stop and think. Maybe you can relate? As I read God's word this morning and prayed, God revealed something to me about reflection. It is through our personal reflection, God gives us something to say. When we look back at what we've been through and what God did, He blesses us with words to write, words to speak, words to encourage. You see friends, it is through this discipline that Christ reveals to us our calling and purpose.

Think about it. When we reflect and look back, we understand better the circumstances and valleys we have walked. We see God's plan to make us stronger, purge our lives of addiction or unhealthy relationships and sinful behaviors. God refines us into a creation who looks more like him when we stop and acknowledge the transforming power that is given on the cross. It is when we look back, that God blesses us with insight and shows us the pain of life was worth it. Reflection reminds us of our dependency upon Christ and the strength we can draw when we call upon His name.

I didn't have much to say because I didn't take the time to stop and reflect on what God is doing in my life. When I stopped, reveled at His goodness and marveled in His love, a story began to unfold because I took the time to commune with the One who writes my story to begin with.

Friends if you feel like you don't have a voice, if you feel like your story doesn't matter; stop and reflect. Look at what He has done and is doing in your life and the lives of those around you. Thank Him for bringing you to the other side and look at the blessings that can easily be hidden by the darkness. Through reflection, God can speak to us so we can learn from past mistakes or praise Him for past blessings.

We all should take time each day to stop and reflect as we look back at the story God is writing in my lives. When I meditate on scripture, vulnerably pray, and reflect on past circumstances I cultivate a relationship with my Savior that can sustain me through the most busy seasons of life. When I rob myself of this intimate time with Jesus, I become off balanced and not centered. Satan starts to whisper thoughts of shame, inadequacy, and abandonment. My quiet time with God allows me to continue my busy life. It s in the quiet times of reflection that He gives me the fuel I need to make it through the day.

So I celebrate those quiet times of reflection. I celebrate the amazement I still feel when I see God working out an icky situation for His good. I celebrate the lessons God teaches me and the intimacy I share with my Creator when I stop and think about what he has done for me. He loves me, truly He does. No matter how amateur the offering is, He sticks it on His refrigerator proudly and displays the precious gift from His child. Friends may we all strive to put time aside everyday to reflect on Christ and what he has done in our lives. May we celebrate Him by sacrificing a block of time each day so He can talk with us and help us through the storms of life.

Celebrate the gifts, celebrate His goodness. Stop, reflect, and see that He has done great things. Allow God to teach you through your past circumstances so you can testify and teach others about His love and transforming power. Don't get so focused on what is to come that you miss the lessons taught by what we left behind. We all have a story to tell. The question is, will you take the time to learn what your story is.