June 28th
Stella
Update: Doctors did rounds this afternoon and yesterday they had to stop
feeding her because she was not digesting and they found blood in her stomach
(Momma freaked out not gonna lie). They took X-rays and figured out her OG tube
was rubbing the lining of her stomach so
they fixed her tube and started feeding her again today. Thus far she has done
well with her big girl meal of 8 ml given continuously over 3 hours. Yay!! The
BESTEST news ever was when Dr. O told me they are going to start weaning her
off of her CPAP machine tomorrow! She seems to be breathing better, more deep
and less shallow breaths. She is more alert and one time last night I said her
name when I was stroking her head (couldn't hold her last night) and she looked
up at me and kinda smiled. It was a special moment.
Thank you all for your kind words and prayers. I
was having a rough night last night. But through prayer and reading God's word
I realized something. He is blessing me through this experience and refining me
to be a better mom, wife, and most importantly... deepening my relationship
with Him and understanding His love for us so much deeper than I ever have.
So keep praying for our sweet Stella and pray that
she does well on feeding and weaning her off her machines. Lord willing, we can
love on her and hold her together soon. I love you all and I'll update again
tomorrow!!
So, friends, we can now—without hesitation—walk right
up to God, into “the Holy Place.” Jesus has
cleared the way by the blood of his sacrifice, acting as our priest before God.
The “curtain” into God’s presence is his body.
So let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re
presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us
going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in
encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do
but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.
(Hebrews 10:19-25 MSG)
I
love the line that we must keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going.
So true! He knows how it feels to watch your child hang on. Our God is good and
He's compassionate and in our struggles He truly understands. So my prayer for
us all today is that we remember what He promises and trust in His unfailing
love.
You
will have many difficult days along the way. My journey was a roller coaster of
ups and downs as most of you can understand. I would get my hopes up and feel
optimistic about her progress and then we would have a setback or another
complication would surface. I could feel the waves of doubt and despair
crashing around me trying to knock me off my feet and drag me off the shore, so
I had to keep a firm grip on His promises to keep me going.
Our
journey will not be easy and we will meet our fair share of obstacles and
trials along the way. I reminded myself often that God keeps His word and He
has said and done everything He possibly can to prove His love for me at
Calvary. I was not going to abandon Stella in her time of need, and my God will
not abandon me, His child, in my time of need. I had to keep a firm grip and
hold onto the promises that keep me going.
Children
of God, we must claim these promises to gain comfort and strength when we need
it the most
- We
are loved by God and He claims us as His children.
Ephesians 1:4-6
For he chose us in him before the
creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he
predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in
accordance with his pleasure and will— to
the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he
loves.
- Our God is always with us
and He will never leave us
2
Corinthians 4:8-12
If you
only look at us, you might well
miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned
clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s
incomparable power with us. As it is, there’s not much chance of that. You know
for yourselves that we’re not much to look at. We’ve been surrounded and
battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but
we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God
hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken. What they
did to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus
did among them, he does in us—he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for
Jesus’ sake, which makes Jesus’ life all the more evident in us. While we’re
going through the worst, you’re getting in on the best!
- As children of God, we have
His Spirit to guide and lead us through trials to forge us into virtuous
children of God.
Romans
5: 3-5
There’s
more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with
troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us,
and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us
alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re
never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough
containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the
Holy Spirit!
- Our struggles and trials
will not overtake us.
1
Peter 1: 3-7
What a
God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master
Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new
life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the
future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day
is coming when you’ll have it all—life healed and whole.
I know how great this makes you feel, even
though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure
gold put in the fire comes out of it proved
pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this
all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as
evidence of his victory.
- Our God can emphasize in
our suffering.
Philippians
2: 5-11
Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus
thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of
himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what.
Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took
on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed
human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special
privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a
selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.
Because of that obedience, God lifted him
high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created
beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in
worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master
of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father.
- He will provide us with
strength and courage in difficult times.
2
Corinthians 1: 7-11
When we suffer for Jesus, it works out for
your healing and salvation. If we are treated well, given a helping hand and
encouraging word, that also works to your benefit, spurring you on, face
forward, unflinching. Your hard times are also our hard times. When we see that
you’re just as willing to endure the hard times as to enjoy the good times, we
know you’re going to make it, no doubt about it.
We don’t want you in the dark, friends, about
how hard it was when all this came down on us in Asia province. It was so bad
we didn’t think we were going to make it. We felt like we’d been sent to death
row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that
could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out
of it, we were forced to trust God totally—not a bad idea since he’s the God
who raises the dead! And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he’ll do it again, rescuing us as
many times as we need rescuing. You and your prayers are part of the rescue
operation—I don’t want you in the dark about that either. I can see your faces
even now, lifted in praise for God’s deliverance of us, a rescue in which your
prayers played such a crucial part.
Psalm
145: 8-11
God
is all mercy and grace—
not
quick to anger, is rich in love.
God
is good to one and all;
everything
he does is suffused with grace.
Creation
and creatures applaud you, God;
your
holy people bless you.
They
talk about the glories of your rule,
they
exclaim over your splendor,
Our God loves us all so very much. With
all the world religions and theistic beliefs for those of you that do not have
a relationship with Christ, you may be confused, frustrated, and angry with
God. I don’t blame you. Things are very difficult right now and you don’t know
where to turn or what to do.
I want you to know that God feels your
pain and suffering and He never intended it to happen. God doesn’t cause pain
and death in the world, sin does. God gave us free will, the right to choose
for ourselves what we want to do. This choice allows us to love how we want to
love and be who we want to be. It sets us apart from all other creatures. This
freedom doesn’t come without a cost and as mankind deals with sin in this
world, we must also deal with what sin brings which is pain and death. It is
not what God wanted, but it is what we chose. God does not allow bad things to
happen, bad things happen because there is sin in the world.
If you do not have a relationship with
Christ, He is waiting and ready to call you His child. He can and will be with
you on this journey and teach you how to celebrate and find joy again. This
blog is about my journey but you also have embarked upon a journey. Right now
it might be difficult to see past your next meal, but later you too can look
back and see how God moved and worked in your life. Your journey was given to
you so that you may rely upon God and His strength and an amazing thing happens
when we do this. People notice. They wonder how we got through our struggles
and want us to tell them more about the journey we took. Our journey becomes a
testimony of His goodness if we allow it to.
