Taking time for me

July 8^th

 

While I snuggle Stella tonight I started to think about my day. This was a hard day for me. Stella back on the lights, back on oxygen and desating still, not eating well, and then she had another spell. I was having a difficult time holding it together so I told her nurse I was going to lay down and take a nap. After I slept for three hours, I took a shower, and decided I needed to refocus my day. I hadn't worshipped today and so I sang for a bit and tried to celebrate how good our God really is. Then it hit me. In my exhaustion and fear I forgot to celebrate and worship the blessings I have. Stella is here. She is not struggling at home where no one can help. She is here getting amazing care, growing, and snuggling with her momma. It was when I was worn down by the day that satan took my focus off of celebration. If I focus first on Him, take care of myself physically and spiritually, I can be the mom Stella needs. But if I focus on everything else and takes my eyes of Jesus and the joy He gives... I am no good to anyone. So I was reminded today the importance of me time. Taking care of myself and worshipping God in the midst of the unknown. When we moms let ourselves go, we are telling God we can do it by our own strength. When the truth of the matter is in Him we find strength and rest. By taking time to take care of me I am honoring God and His design. I am giving Stella a mom who is rested, whole, and able to face the challenges with her. A mom who can process emotions, comprehend events, and cuddle affectionately 100% of the time. Taking time for myself daily is so important and a gift not only to me, but to sweet Stella.