Transforming our frailty into a firm foundation

July 6^th

 

You are constantly reminded how fragile life is at the ICN. Surrounded by high tech equipment and state of the art machines to monitor life, I am frequently alerted by alarms and sirens that life is fragile. We too can experience our own frailty when we are bombarded with the pressures and trials of life. I was reminded of this truth last night when I felt so emotionally and spiritually frail. I have been getting up every 3 hours around the clock to feed Stella so I was physically exhausted. My girls are here and I'm trying to split time between them which makes me feel torn and not fully useful to anyone. Nick, a source of strength and a discerner of people, thoughts, and situations, is not with me to help me process the events of the day. Then to top it all off, our son who I've barely scene in 3 weeks is 5 hours away at the lake with his cousin. The past 3 months have been difficult for our family. I'm physically exhausted, mentally drained, and at times spiritually hanging on by a thread. 

As I sat and rocked Stella, my frailty consumed me and I needed to process my thoughts and emotions so I called Nick. He reminded me of the stories of Simeon Peter. The rock on which Jesus built His church was many times as fragile as a newborn baby at the ICN. He got out of the boat to walk on water, yet took his eyes off Jesus and began to sink. He swore he would die for Jesus but the same night he feared for his own life and denied Christ three times. His frailty, fears, and humanness were written about numerous times in scripture, so why did Christ decide to build His church starting with Peter? Because he was willing and Christ was in control. You see it isn't by our own human strength that can get us through the storms of life, it is by His strength that we can. It's not us that controls our lives and plots the course, it's Him. He is strong enough and He is in control. Nick reminded me that it's when I feel frail, vulnerable, and weak that I'm reminded of who really can handle my problems and help me work through my sadness... it's Christ. As I rock Stella in my arms tonight I'm thankful for those emotions and how vulnerable they make me feel, for they remind me I am weak but He is strong. When the alarms and sirens sound in my life... He is there. Monitoring me, nurturing me, loving me and leading me safely to the other side. I deeply miss my family and at times I feel worn down but when I take my focus off of what I can't do and fixate on what He can do Christ strengthens me. For our God is faithful and He can transform our frailty into a firm foundation if we allow Him to.