My value comes from the Lord

July 28th

I value things that I shouldn't. As I rock Stella tonight I replay and contemplate the events of last week. The Lord has blessed our sweet girl with strength and good health. Stella celebrated her 1 month birthday and everyday she is growing and maturing. The struggles she went through in the beginning seem surreal at times as I watch the kids play with her or give her angel kisses. We are truly blessed in so many ways. So why after God has given us such a precious gift am I still not content? Why do I find myself thanking God for His goodness but still asking for more? 

 The Lord is taking our family down a road of simplicity and practical living. We downsized to save and not over extend ourselves. I saw opportunity and blessing in this venture in the beginning but I never expected it to be this difficult. I love having people over and to entertain and when we moved I told myself this wouldn't change. Smaller space can bring our family closer together and I told myself this can be an opportunity for us to teach our kids less is more. A smaller place will be easier to clean and I told myself this can provide less stress on me and our family. Yet as I look back God is using this experience to show me what I truly value. The truth is at times I am ashamed because I realize I value comfort and social acceptance much more than I should. I don't have people over as often because I'm worried about how comfortable they will be in my home. Instead of showing my kids the blessing of simplicity, I treat less like a punishment and feel defeated. I allow the tight space to close in around me and find myself short and grouchy because everything does not have a place and clutter is inevitable. 

I am ashamed not only of my attitude at times but of my priorities. Our God has given us more blessings than I can count but because I downsized 2,000 square feet I complain and get depressed. This attitude tells God what He has given is not enough and like a spoiled child I beg for more. I am ashamed because the truth is God owes me nothing and I owe Him everything. He gave His son so I might live... this should be enough. My heart says it is and I am so thankful but my mind wanders to what I don't have and tries to deceive me into thinking I deserve bigger and better. 

As I rock sweet Stella in our apartment I am reminded of His sacrifice how He gave me everything at Calvary. My heart is so full of thanksgiving and love for my Saviour I can't help but worship Him. You see what I truly deserve is death and separation from my Father. I deserve to be outcasted but because my God loves me, He redeemed me. God's perfect love salvaged my brokenness and made me into a new creation. A creation that is worthy and valuable because of the blood of the Lamb. So if He loves me that much I have to trust His plan. I have to see His blessings in my life and not gage my blessing by my surroundings. I must take every opportunity to share and show His love and not be ashamed of my circumstance but confidently celebrate and be content with what He has given. Turning my shame into celebration and focus not on what I have but what He has done. 

I must choose to celebrate and see His goodness so that I don't miss out on the blessings of my small space. Lord God forgive me of my desires to have what is not important. Transform my mind to see what my heart feels. Beat me over the head with the reality of Your blessings daily so I don't get wrapped up in this world and loose sight of what is truly important and worth my attention. No matter what my square footage my value comes from The Lord and that gives me reason to celebrate!